1. |
Pluto, You're So Cool
02:02
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Pluto, you’re so cool
Pluto, Pluto, you’re so cool
Pluto, you’re so cool
Pluto, Pluto, you’re so cool
Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, you’re so cool
Pluto, you’re so cool
Pluto, Pluto, you’re so cool
Pluto, you’re so cool
Pluto, Pluto, you’re so cool
Pluto, you’re so cool
Pluto, Pluto, you’re so cool
Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, you’re so cool, you’re so cool
Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, you’re so cool, you’re so cool
Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, you’re so cool, you’re so cool
Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto
You’re so cool, you’re so cool, you’re so cool, you’re so cool
Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto
Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto
Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto
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2. |
Pre-Flight Checklist
01:45
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Toothbrush
Check
Toothpaste
Check
Extra socks
Check
Mad magazine collection
Check
Lucky astrology mood watch
Check
Favorite lucky, lucky snorkel
Check
Siri, start up the band
Hit it!
I can see it now, endorsements up the wazoo
Book deals!
I can tell the story of my trip to Pluto
Better keep a log
Roger
What are all these buttons for?
Why are all these lights flashing?
Does this thing have an owner’s manual?
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3. |
Ignition Sequence Start
02:10
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Roger
Ignition Sequence Start
Engines on
5,4,3,2,1
All engines running
Launch commit
Lift-off, we have lift-off
The tower is clear
And we have a roll program
Roger
We have just drawn and all planet
Main scrotal roll complete
Roger
And we have a pitch program
Roger
Roger
Captains log
Star date 1701.2
Roger
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4. |
Bon Voyage!
02:22
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I’m taking on the universe
Roger
I’m taking on the universe
Nothing can stop me now
As I leave the Earth’s atmosphere
God speed, good luck, good health, and good cheer
Roger
I’m on my way to Pluto
Roger
Escaping the gravitational reins
Breaking free of humanities chains
I’m on my way to Pluto
Roger
Entering outer space, Benvenuto
Roger
Just like Robinson Crusoe
Except I have a GPS and a computo
And I’m wrapped in a space suit head to toe
This thing is equipped with a GPS, isn’t it?
Roger
To those who shot me up into space, kudos
Roger
Going to a movie show
Roger
To mission control, your “roger”, you might want to mute those
Roger
I’m on my way to Pluto
Roger
This life is puedo-psuedo
Roger
It’s in everywhere you go
Roger
Neil Caputo
Roger
On my way to Pluto
Roger
On my way to Pluto
Roger
238 days to Mars
Roger
Wake me up at Mars, please
Roger
Just shoot me a text
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5. |
Earth To Moon
01:54
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Traveling at the speed of light
Traveling at the speed of sound
Traveling at the speed of airplanes
Traveling at the speed of trains, and cars
Traveling at the speed of spacecraft
Hurtling toward the stars
Enduring maximum G-Force suppression til I hit the speed of cruising
The Earth’s gravitational grip I am losing
When I reach the cruising speed of 36,000 miles per hour
With the Moon being 240 thousand miles away
I’ll be passing by it in just 6 hours
Micrometeoroids whiz by me at 186 thousand miles per hour
The Moon is beginning to be visible
World peace is what I wish for
Do me a solid
Aw-ite
I need a bacon lettuce and tomato sandwich
With a little salt and pepper, a little mayo
I’m on my way to Pluto
Roger
Bang zoom, you’re goin’ to the Moon
Roger
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6. |
||||
Hi there, fella
I always wanted to say hi
Hi, said the old man of the Moon as I passed by
Why don’t you stay a while
I never learned much about you
When I was teachable
And when I found out all about you
I wasn’t preachable
Oceanus Procellarum
Ocean of storms
Mare Imbrium
Sea of rain
Mare Serenitatis
Sea of serenity
Mare Tranquilltatis
Sea of Tranquility
Mare Cognitum
Sea that has become known
Copernicus Crater
Plato Crater
There is no dark side in the Moon
As a matter of fact, it’s all dark
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7. |
Moon To Mars Ditty
01:55
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As the Moon fades out of view in the rear view
On the heading in the direction of Mars
The big red giant in the stars
I thought I just passed the ghost of I thought I just passed the ghost of Belle Starr and Pistol Pete
With the hangin’ judge in close pursuit
A drum beat
She had some Hatfield in her, but no McCoy
She had tattoos on her arm and several boy toys
I saw the ghost of Abraham Lincoln
Jackie Gleason, and a Neanderthal man
Standing on the Titanic as it was sinkin’
Sgt Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band
The sun and the moon are in full bloom
And everyone’s doin’ what they’ve always been doin’
And no one thinking about little old me
Solvin’ Sudokus in my sleep
Fear is a liar, and fear in an enemy
I wear body armor made of indestructium
I practice in the art of simple se-duck-she-un
I am your god
Each side preaches they’re grounded in the truth
I need a head massage tornado
I am your god
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8. |
Passing By Mars
01:03
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Mars was the father of Romulus and Remus
Sounds like a Star trek episode in there somewhere, but I digress
Djuno Mars was the son of Jupiter and Juno
But alas, it’s just the first planet that I pass
On my way to Pluto
Wouldn’t you know
A red planet because of iron oxide
81 degrees below zero on the sunny side
Olympus Mons is 72,000 feet tall
Sixteen miles high, way higher than McGuinn and McGuire
Looking like a pimple in the western hemisphere of Mars
There are no laundromats on Mars
And I need to wash my clothes
Moisture is your sworn enemy when it’s 81 degrees below zero
On your way to Pluto
Roger
On your way to Pluto
Roger
On your way to Pluto
Roger
Pluto
Roger
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9. |
Asteroids
01:05
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Entering asteroids
Roger
(Phew!)
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10. |
||||
Captain Kleh, we’re trying to reach you
There’s something we forgot to teach you
Yeah, well I just got through dodging all the asteroids
So I’m feeling a just a tad bit paranoid
Even so, it was a pretty cool trip, you know
I’m on my way to Pluto
Roger
For 900 days I’ve been toxin-free
Sure could use a little LSD
Roger
My brain is thinking I must eat
My brain is knowing
My body is asleep
My veins are drinking liquid meat
Just over a year in a very deep sleep
Set an alarm clock Mission Control
Don’t want to miss the sights of Jupiter, you know
Wake me up at Jupiter
Roger
Wake me up at Jupiter
Roger
Wake me up at Jupiter
Roger
Wake me up at Jupiter
Roger
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11. |
Mars To Jupiter Dreams
02:02
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I thought I just passed the ghost of Pistol Pete and Belle Starr
With the hangin’ judge in close pursuit of their getaway car
She had some Hatfield in her, but no McCoy
She had tattoos on her arm as well as several boy toys
I saw the ghost of Abraham Lincoln
Jackie Gleason, and a Neanderthal man
I saw Walt White and Jesse Pinkman
Standing on the Titanic as it was sinkin’
Sgt Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band
Slid down the deck like a beacon in the sand
The sun and the moon are in full bloom
And everyone’s doin’ what they’ve always been doin’
And ain’t nobody thinkin' ‘bout little old me
Solvin’ Sudokus in my sleep
Fear is a liar, and fear in an enemy
I wear body armor made of indestructium
I practice in the art of se-duck-she-un
Each side preaches they’re grounded in the truth
I’m on my way to Pluto
I need a head massage tornado
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12. |
||||
Mission Control buzzed in and said we’ve been trying to reach you
Remember when we tried to tell you there’s something we forgot to teach you
The only way to make it to Pluto at this Coordinated Universal Time time of year
Is to take a short-cut through the center of Jupiter
But you’ll get burnt up or crushed from the intense gravitational physics
Or you could get run over by a bus
Hmmm….that’s what my scientist nephew said
But that’s alright, remember, I wear body armor made of indestructium
And my super power is seduc-she-un
And since Jupiter was the brother of Pluto
And his sister was Ceres
I should be able to say, “What’s the deal?”, and schmooze my way through the atmosphere with ease
It’s the center of Jupiter I fear
It could be gaseous, or I could get a shock
Scientists say the exact core of Jupiter could be solid rock
Can you dig it?
Well wouldn’t you know it, foa shoa
Jupiter actually has a solid core
Jupiterians call it “The Rock”
I stopped by a sidewalk café just up the block
And I looked around and I thought to myself, “Hey!”
Everyone’s wearing body armor made of indestructium
Hmmm…I thought I was the only person in the Universe with body armor made of indestructium
But it’s the only way to survive when you live at “The Rock” on Jupiter
And everyone is stupider
Because eventually I get to take my space suit off
When I get myself back on course
On my way to Pluto
Hey, it’s been fun, got anything else to do around here?
Roger
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13. |
Jupiter To Saturn
03:23
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I’m on my way to Pluto
Change always happens too slow
You gotta always be on the lookout for numero uno
I’m on my way to Pluto
It’s just a one-horse asteroid
And even though I promised myself I wouldn’t do the same thing as I did the day before
Every day is the same when you’re on your way to Pluto
I’d like to get outside and walk around the block, the ship?
I need a head massage tornado
I’m goin’ insane
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14. |
Saturn
01:25
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Jupiter to Saturn is 456 million miles
At 36,000 miles per hour that’s a year and a half
Saturn is just over a billion miles from Earth
The Romans named you for the seventh day of the week, Saturday
Party on, dude!
Roger
Your rotation causes you to have the shape of an oblate spheroid
95 times more massive than Earth
Yet, only 1/8 the average density
With megaflashes of lightning in your storms
Turning methane into soot
Which hardens into chunks of graphite
Which turn into diamonds as they fall to your surface
83 moons, not counting countless moonlets in your rings
Your pale yellow hue due to ammonia crystals in your upper atmosphere…eww!
Roger
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15. |
||||
16. |
Triton Moon
01:05
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I stopped by Saturn’s moon of Triton
It has lakes made up entirely of liquid nitrogen
Good thing I brought along my favorite lucky snorkel
I was just hangin’ out and I met up with Mork from Ork there
Saturn is beautiful in the evening sky tonight, isn’t Mork
Nanu Nanu
He just kept saying “Nanu Nanu” like someone would who was from the planet of Ork
What are you doing in this solar system anyhoo?
He said. “Nanu Nanu”
And then he said, Triton is a moon
Probably once a dwarf planet of the Kuyper Belt
In a retrograde orbit
Close enough to Saturn
To be tidally locked into a synchronous rotation
The dark side of its moon is always dark
And its interior may be hot enough to sustain a layer consisting of
Liquid hot magma
That’s all I got to say about that
Magma
Nanu Nanu
Liquid hot magma
Nanu Nanu
Liquid hot magma
Nanu Nanu
Mag, mag, magma
N-Nanu, Nanu
Mag
Nanu Nanu
Mag
Roger
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17. |
Saturn To Uranus
01:56
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I finally had to leave behind the paradise of Triton
Geophysically defined as a satellite planet
Oops, I think I left the light on
Don’t have any time to waste, you know
Got almost 3 years and 900 million miles to go
On my way to Uranus
Which is on the way to Pluto
Roger
Soon Triton is outa sight in the rearview
Who woulda knew, I’m on my way to Pluto
Roger
I left Earth so long ago
2 ½ years of meat juice in my veins
If I die out here, what will the find if they examine my remains
Primordial soup
Roger
Falling in and out of sleep and viewing the sights of the constellations
The planets, the asteroids, the stars and all of creation
But who knows where I might go after that
Life is an adventure, not a destination
When you look up at the stars, you just gotta wonder
Is Earth the only planet able to sustain life as we know it
If it is, then the question is, why don’t we show it
It’s nothing if it’s not something
If you’ve got something you can tell me
Don’t hold it in, let me know, can you hear me Mission Control?
Roger
I’m on my way to Pluto
Roger
I’m on my way to Pluto
Roger
On my way to Pluto
Roger
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18. |
||||
Talking to my broker
Do they even have derivatives on Pluto
Hey wait, what was that, I think I just heard a little ping
Let me see if I can google the owner’s manual to this thing
OK, how far is a lightyear
How big is a quark?
Is there a solar plexus in my hovel schtick?
I’m feeling fairly azonic
Will I be picking up particulate in my parachute when I return to Earth
With quark-gluon plasma all around me now
Fitting nicely into the general scheme of physics
Probably pretty close to the density and temperature that existed
In the first instants of life in the universe
And the production of strangeness
Strangeness?
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19. |
Uranus
02:55
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All alone just doin’ what you’ve always been doin’
Taking 84 years to circle the Sun
Uranus, yer an ice giant
Consisting of hydrogen and helium
Ammonia and methane
Winds of 560 miles per hour
With a low thermal flow
You’re so cold
You’re so cold
Very little infrared recognition from your vibes
Very apt position which perfectly describes
Your color is electric blue
Electric blue
Electric blue
Electric blue
Electric blue
Uranus, you’re on my way to Pluto
You’re electric blue
Electric blue
Electric blue
Electric blue
Electric blue
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20. |
Uranus To Neptune
02:11
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The things you start to think about in the 3 ½ years from Uranus to Neptune
Pluto is 1/6 the mass of the Moon
And just 1/3 of its volume
Sometimes Pluto is closer to the Sun than Neptune
But a stable orbital resonance keeps them from colliding into each other
Neptune was discovered after analyzing perturbations in the orbit of Uranus
But subsequent observations led to the thinking that Uranus orbit was being disturbed another planet other than Neptune
Voila! There you have it! Presto! Pluto!
Although theorized to exist much earlier
The actual discovery date birthday is March 13, 1930
And since you’ve been discovered
You haven’t had a birthday because it takes you 248 years to circle the Sun
Lately I’ve been thinking about Micky Mouse and his dog Pluto
Your own gravity don’t pull you into a shape defined by hydrostatic equilibrium
You don’t even clear your own neighborhood
(But you could rake your leaves every once in a while)
You could be a quazi-satelite of Charon
Your axial tilt is 120* with a silicate core
Let’s make Pluto a planet once more
Yeah, let’s make Pluto a planet once more
Let’s make Pluto a planet once more
Let’s make Pluto a planet once more
The things you start to think about in the 3 ½ years from Uranus to Neptune
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21. |
Neptune
02:07
|
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Neptune has a profound impact on the Kuyper Belt
Just like Jupiter’s gravity dominates the Asteroids
Neptune with your blue hue
Your great dark spot merely an anticyclonic storm system
Spanning 8,100 miles by 4,100 miles
Almost as big as Earth
Do you have global warming or something?
Like Nero to Seneca
I am a student to myself
I learn something new every day
Sometimes I let old habits get in the way
Discovered by Galileo Galilei
Named after Neptune, god of the sea
Sometimes I go to extremes
Sometimes I travel by the light of moonbeams
Shining on my sun-burned back
Just to get a single sound from multiple tracks
Sometimes I promise myself I’ll do something different than the day before you know
Every day is the same when you’re on your way to Pluto
Roger
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22. |
||||
I remember my love in the meadows of my mind
Memories of her sunlit smile in the sunny summertime
Walk down to the boardwalk with her hand in my hand
Wade along the shoreline, barefoot in the sand
But I’m so far away
So far away from her
I will return one day for
On that I give my word
I wish that I could talk to her and touch her in the night
Hold her body close to mine, squeeze her oh so tight
If I could be there just one hour, I’d do her no wrong
My body aches, my mind is weak, but I must be strong
Cuz I’m so far away
So far away from her
I will return one day
On that I give my word
I can feel my love in the canyons of my soul
Echoes bouncing off the walls of my self-control
The depth with which her penetrating eyes could see through me
Like the beauty of the sun and sky the forests and the sea
But I’m so far away
So far away from her
I will return one day
On that I give my word
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23. |
On My Way To Pluto
00:48
|
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Who knew though?
I’d be on my way to Pluto
I be my own crew, yo
All the way, all the way to Pluto
2.8 billion miles away from Earth into space man, yo
8 ½ years of my life in a tin can, you know
Who knew though?
I’d be on my way to Pluto
On my way to Pluto
On my way to Pluto
Roger
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24. |
Head Massage Tornado
02:41
|
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I’ve heard there’s a local drink of choice on Pluto
Roger
It’s called a head massage tornado
Roger
Blows your mind like a microwaved potato
Made with Red Bull and Plutonian vodka
It’s like getting’ hit upside tha head with a block a
Concrete
Sounds pretty neat
Roger
That’s the main reason that I’m a goin’ to Pluto
Don’t you know
I wanna try that drink called a head massage tornado
Kazoo music kinda rhymes with Pluto, doesn’t it
Roger
I brought cassette tapes of Cheech and Chong
I snuck aboard my favorite bong, my favorite bong, my favorite bong
I get down on my bended knees
All I pray for is world peace
Roger
So getting’ back to this Red Bull and Plutonian vodka drink
Just wanna let you know what I really think
Everything in the Universe slowly moves toward chaos and disorder
She looked at the head massage tornado I just poured her
3.3 billion miles away from Earth into space
Man, you know, Neptune was a god but he wasn’t wrong
Anyone can be a god, they just gotta hang on
10 ½ years of my life each way, you know
Roger
On my way to Pluto
Roger
On my way to Pluto
On my way to Pluto
Roger
|
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25. |
1st Walk On Pluto
01:01
|
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26. |
Playing On Pluto
01:02
|
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It’s cold out here, you know, you know
387 degrees below zero on Pluto
Pluto
Roger
Standing on the Peruto Plateau
On the sunny side of Pluto
I met a Plutonian babe, you know
She said I know a place 10 minutes away to go
10 minutes away to go
Right here on Pluto
Right here on Pluto?
And I asked , “Is that at the speed of sound or the speed of lightyears?”
She says, “I got baggage.”
And I said, “Yeah, but sooner or later those clothes wear out, then you gotta get new clothes.”
Right here on Pluto
Do you happen to know of a good haberdashery?
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27. |
My Plutonian Bae
01:06
|
|||
I met a Plutonian bae, you know
Hi ya
We danced all night and all day , yo
But we couldn’t tell the difference
A day on Pluto is 6 ½ days on Earth, you know
Drinking Red Bull and Plutonian vodka
Mingling with the minstrels
Want a shot of tequila?
A shot of water would be nice on Pluto
Hee hee
I don’t believe it when they say
That Pluto is the god of the underworld
If you jump in a river
It just takes you downstream
You don’t need sunscreen on your soul
I am the captain of my ship
Would you like to come be a part of it
On Pluto
Umm-kay?
|
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28. |
Poor Pluto
03:31
|
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Poor Pluto
Just half the size of the U.S.A.
Doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page
That shows up before Pluto TV
Go ahead and google it, you’ll see
Merely known as a trans-Neptunian object
Classified as a dwarf planet, last I checked
Bah! That’s balona!
It has a a heart-shaped glacier the size of Texas and Oklahoma
Pluto, I miss you so
You were my favorite planet
Where did you go?
Oh Pluto, where did you go?
Romulus & Remus used to fight each other like Popeye & Bluto
Charon is in a binary system with Pluto
So maybe they should be planets 9 & 10
At least let’s make Pluto a planet again
After all Charon is the one with theolin organic macromolecules
Which may be the ingredients for the emergence of life, according to Wikinews
Like Caesar said to Bruto
Et tu, Pluto?
Pluto, I miss you so
You were my favorite planet
Where did you go?
Oh Pluto, where did you go?
Pluto, you’re just a warm fuzzy little ball of ice and rock
Light itself takes 4 ½ years to travel from Pluto to Earth
It appears as if ice crystals form the same way on Pluto as they do on Earth
When I was standing on Pluto at 381 degrees below zero
It was like I lost my heart and there was no place for the blood to flow
But your heart-shaped glacier
Vacillating between cellular and non-cellular nitrogen
Transcends all of humanity and sends a message of peace on Earth
Hey, does anybody know what time it is?
My lucky astrology mood watch just stopped
Roger
|
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29. |
||||
30. |
Outside The Universe
00:53
|
|||
I’m outside the universe
I finally broke through
And now I’m looking back at you
There’s a dot of light in the rearview
And that’s you
This isn’t a drive-thru
“Oops!”
The one thing you don’t wanna hear when you’re re-entering the atmosphere
I need a drink so strong it could blind an elephant
I need a head massage tornado
Roger
|
||||
31. |
Mic Drop
00:07
|
Dave Kleh Burlington, Vermont
Dave Kleh is a 20th century exile, a singer-songwriter making music, recording music, playing most of the instruments...you get the idea. Real music, real good!. Rock on!
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