To Pluto And Beyond

by Dave Kleh

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1.	Pluto, You're So Cool 02:02	lyrics	buy track
Pluto, you’re so cool Pluto, Pluto, you’re so cool Pluto, you’re so cool Pluto, Pluto, you’re so cool Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, you’re so cool Pluto, you’re so cool Pluto, Pluto, you’re so cool Pluto, you’re so cool Pluto, Pluto, you’re so cool Pluto, you’re so cool Pluto, Pluto, you’re so cool Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, you’re so cool, you’re so cool Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, you’re so cool, you’re so cool Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, you’re so cool, you’re so cool Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto You’re so cool, you’re so cool, you’re so cool, you’re so cool Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto
2.	Pre-Flight Checklist 01:45	lyrics	buy track
Toothbrush Check Toothpaste Check Extra socks Check Mad magazine collection Check Lucky astrology mood watch Check Favorite lucky, lucky snorkel Check Siri, start up the band Hit it! I can see it now, endorsements up the wazoo Book deals! I can tell the story of my trip to Pluto Better keep a log Roger What are all these buttons for? Why are all these lights flashing? Does this thing have an owner’s manual?
3.	Ignition Sequence Start 02:10	lyrics	buy track
Roger Ignition Sequence Start Engines on 5,4,3,2,1 All engines running Launch commit Lift-off, we have lift-off The tower is clear And we have a roll program Roger We have just drawn and all planet Main scrotal roll complete Roger And we have a pitch program Roger Roger Captains log Star date 1701.2 Roger
4.	Bon Voyage! 02:22	lyrics	buy track
I’m taking on the universe Roger I’m taking on the universe Nothing can stop me now As I leave the Earth’s atmosphere God speed, good luck, good health, and good cheer Roger I’m on my way to Pluto Roger Escaping the gravitational reins Breaking free of humanities chains I’m on my way to Pluto Roger Entering outer space, Benvenuto Roger Just like Robinson Crusoe Except I have a GPS and a computo And I’m wrapped in a space suit head to toe This thing is equipped with a GPS, isn’t it? Roger To those who shot me up into space, kudos Roger Going to a movie show Roger To mission control, your “roger”, you might want to mute those Roger I’m on my way to Pluto Roger This life is puedo-psuedo Roger It’s in everywhere you go Roger Neil Caputo Roger On my way to Pluto Roger On my way to Pluto Roger 238 days to Mars Roger Wake me up at Mars, please Roger Just shoot me a text
5.	Earth To Moon 01:54	lyrics	buy track
Traveling at the speed of light Traveling at the speed of sound Traveling at the speed of airplanes Traveling at the speed of trains, and cars Traveling at the speed of spacecraft Hurtling toward the stars Enduring maximum G-Force suppression til I hit the speed of cruising The Earth’s gravitational grip I am losing When I reach the cruising speed of 36,000 miles per hour With the Moon being 240 thousand miles away I’ll be passing by it in just 6 hours Micrometeoroids whiz by me at 186 thousand miles per hour The Moon is beginning to be visible World peace is what I wish for Do me a solid Aw-ite I need a bacon lettuce and tomato sandwich With a little salt and pepper, a little mayo I’m on my way to Pluto Roger Bang zoom, you’re goin’ to the Moon Roger
6.	Sayin Hi To The Old Man Of The Moon 01:30	lyrics	buy track
Hi there, fella I always wanted to say hi Hi, said the old man of the Moon as I passed by Why don’t you stay a while I never learned much about you When I was teachable And when I found out all about you I wasn’t preachable Oceanus Procellarum Ocean of storms Mare Imbrium Sea of rain Mare Serenitatis Sea of serenity Mare Tranquilltatis Sea of Tranquility Mare Cognitum Sea that has become known Copernicus Crater Plato Crater There is no dark side in the Moon As a matter of fact, it’s all dark
7.	Moon To Mars Ditty 01:55	lyrics	buy track
As the Moon fades out of view in the rear view On the heading in the direction of Mars The big red giant in the stars I thought I just passed the ghost of I thought I just passed the ghost of Belle Starr and Pistol Pete With the hangin’ judge in close pursuit A drum beat She had some Hatfield in her, but no McCoy She had tattoos on her arm and several boy toys I saw the ghost of Abraham Lincoln Jackie Gleason, and a Neanderthal man Standing on the Titanic as it was sinkin’ Sgt Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band The sun and the moon are in full bloom And everyone’s doin’ what they’ve always been doin’ And no one thinking about little old me Solvin’ Sudokus in my sleep Fear is a liar, and fear in an enemy I wear body armor made of indestructium I practice in the art of simple se-duck-she-un I am your god Each side preaches they’re grounded in the truth I need a head massage tornado I am your god
8.	Passing By Mars 01:03	lyrics	buy track
Mars was the father of Romulus and Remus Sounds like a Star trek episode in there somewhere, but I digress Djuno Mars was the son of Jupiter and Juno But alas, it’s just the first planet that I pass On my way to Pluto Wouldn’t you know A red planet because of iron oxide 81 degrees below zero on the sunny side Olympus Mons is 72,000 feet tall Sixteen miles high, way higher than McGuinn and McGuire Looking like a pimple in the western hemisphere of Mars There are no laundromats on Mars And I need to wash my clothes Moisture is your sworn enemy when it’s 81 degrees below zero On your way to Pluto Roger On your way to Pluto Roger On your way to Pluto Roger Pluto Roger
9.	Asteroids 01:05	lyrics	buy track
Entering asteroids Roger (Phew!)
10.	Captain Kleh - Pre-Jupiter Instructions 01:07	lyrics	buy track
Captain Kleh, we’re trying to reach you There’s something we forgot to teach you Yeah, well I just got through dodging all the asteroids So I’m feeling a just a tad bit paranoid Even so, it was a pretty cool trip, you know I’m on my way to Pluto Roger For 900 days I’ve been toxin-free Sure could use a little LSD Roger My brain is thinking I must eat My brain is knowing My body is asleep My veins are drinking liquid meat Just over a year in a very deep sleep Set an alarm clock Mission Control Don’t want to miss the sights of Jupiter, you know Wake me up at Jupiter Roger Wake me up at Jupiter Roger Wake me up at Jupiter Roger Wake me up at Jupiter Roger
11.	Mars To Jupiter Dreams 02:02	lyrics	buy track
I thought I just passed the ghost of Pistol Pete and Belle Starr With the hangin’ judge in close pursuit of their getaway car She had some Hatfield in her, but no McCoy She had tattoos on her arm as well as several boy toys I saw the ghost of Abraham Lincoln Jackie Gleason, and a Neanderthal man I saw Walt White and Jesse Pinkman Standing on the Titanic as it was sinkin’ Sgt Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band Slid down the deck like a beacon in the sand The sun and the moon are in full bloom And everyone’s doin’ what they’ve always been doin’ And ain’t nobody thinkin' ‘bout little old me Solvin’ Sudokus in my sleep Fear is a liar, and fear in an enemy I wear body armor made of indestructium I practice in the art of se-duck-she-un Each side preaches they’re grounded in the truth I’m on my way to Pluto I need a head massage tornado
12.	Mission Control Buzzed In 01:55	lyrics	buy track
Mission Control buzzed in and said we’ve been trying to reach you Remember when we tried to tell you there’s something we forgot to teach you The only way to make it to Pluto at this Coordinated Universal Time time of year Is to take a short-cut through the center of Jupiter But you’ll get burnt up or crushed from the intense gravitational physics Or you could get run over by a bus Hmmm….that’s what my scientist nephew said But that’s alright, remember, I wear body armor made of indestructium And my super power is seduc-she-un And since Jupiter was the brother of Pluto And his sister was Ceres I should be able to say, “What’s the deal?”, and schmooze my way through the atmosphere with ease It’s the center of Jupiter I fear It could be gaseous, or I could get a shock Scientists say the exact core of Jupiter could be solid rock Can you dig it? Well wouldn’t you know it, foa shoa Jupiter actually has a solid core Jupiterians call it “The Rock” I stopped by a sidewalk café just up the block And I looked around and I thought to myself, “Hey!” Everyone’s wearing body armor made of indestructium Hmmm…I thought I was the only person in the Universe with body armor made of indestructium But it’s the only way to survive when you live at “The Rock” on Jupiter And everyone is stupider Because eventually I get to take my space suit off When I get myself back on course On my way to Pluto Hey, it’s been fun, got anything else to do around here? Roger
13.	Jupiter To Saturn 03:23	lyrics	buy track
I’m on my way to Pluto Change always happens too slow You gotta always be on the lookout for numero uno I’m on my way to Pluto It’s just a one-horse asteroid And even though I promised myself I wouldn’t do the same thing as I did the day before Every day is the same when you’re on your way to Pluto I’d like to get outside and walk around the block, the ship? I need a head massage tornado I’m goin’ insane
14.	Saturn 01:25	lyrics	buy track
Jupiter to Saturn is 456 million miles At 36,000 miles per hour that’s a year and a half Saturn is just over a billion miles from Earth The Romans named you for the seventh day of the week, Saturday Party on, dude! Roger Your rotation causes you to have the shape of an oblate spheroid 95 times more massive than Earth Yet, only 1/8 the average density With megaflashes of lightning in your storms Turning methane into soot Which hardens into chunks of graphite Which turn into diamonds as they fall to your surface 83 moons, not counting countless moonlets in your rings Your pale yellow hue due to ammonia crystals in your upper atmosphere…eww! Roger
15.	Sliding Around The Rings Of Saturn 01:35	info	buy track
16.	Triton Moon 01:05	lyrics	buy track
I stopped by Saturn’s moon of Triton It has lakes made up entirely of liquid nitrogen Good thing I brought along my favorite lucky snorkel I was just hangin’ out and I met up with Mork from Ork there Saturn is beautiful in the evening sky tonight, isn’t Mork Nanu Nanu He just kept saying “Nanu Nanu” like someone would who was from the planet of Ork What are you doing in this solar system anyhoo? He said. “Nanu Nanu” And then he said, Triton is a moon Probably once a dwarf planet of the Kuyper Belt In a retrograde orbit Close enough to Saturn To be tidally locked into a synchronous rotation The dark side of its moon is always dark And its interior may be hot enough to sustain a layer consisting of Liquid hot magma That’s all I got to say about that Magma Nanu Nanu Liquid hot magma Nanu Nanu Liquid hot magma Nanu Nanu Mag, mag, magma N-Nanu, Nanu Mag Nanu Nanu Mag Roger
17.	Saturn To Uranus 01:56	lyrics	buy track
I finally had to leave behind the paradise of Triton Geophysically defined as a satellite planet Oops, I think I left the light on Don’t have any time to waste, you know Got almost 3 years and 900 million miles to go On my way to Uranus Which is on the way to Pluto Roger Soon Triton is outa sight in the rearview Who woulda knew, I’m on my way to Pluto Roger I left Earth so long ago 2 ½ years of meat juice in my veins If I die out here, what will the find if they examine my remains Primordial soup Roger Falling in and out of sleep and viewing the sights of the constellations The planets, the asteroids, the stars and all of creation But who knows where I might go after that Life is an adventure, not a destination When you look up at the stars, you just gotta wonder Is Earth the only planet able to sustain life as we know it If it is, then the question is, why don’t we show it It’s nothing if it’s not something If you’ve got something you can tell me Don’t hold it in, let me know, can you hear me Mission Control? Roger I’m on my way to Pluto Roger I’m on my way to Pluto Roger On my way to Pluto Roger
18.	Saturn To Uranus Concerns 00:57	lyrics	buy track
Talking to my broker Do they even have derivatives on Pluto Hey wait, what was that, I think I just heard a little ping Let me see if I can google the owner’s manual to this thing OK, how far is a lightyear How big is a quark? Is there a solar plexus in my hovel schtick? I’m feeling fairly azonic Will I be picking up particulate in my parachute when I return to Earth With quark-gluon plasma all around me now Fitting nicely into the general scheme of physics Probably pretty close to the density and temperature that existed In the first instants of life in the universe And the production of strangeness Strangeness?
19.	Uranus 02:55	lyrics	buy track
All alone just doin’ what you’ve always been doin’ Taking 84 years to circle the Sun Uranus, yer an ice giant Consisting of hydrogen and helium Ammonia and methane Winds of 560 miles per hour With a low thermal flow You’re so cold You’re so cold Very little infrared recognition from your vibes Very apt position which perfectly describes Your color is electric blue Electric blue Electric blue Electric blue Electric blue Uranus, you’re on my way to Pluto You’re electric blue Electric blue Electric blue Electric blue Electric blue
20.	Uranus To Neptune 02:11	lyrics	buy track
The things you start to think about in the 3 ½ years from Uranus to Neptune Pluto is 1/6 the mass of the Moon And just 1/3 of its volume Sometimes Pluto is closer to the Sun than Neptune But a stable orbital resonance keeps them from colliding into each other Neptune was discovered after analyzing perturbations in the orbit of Uranus But subsequent observations led to the thinking that Uranus orbit was being disturbed another planet other than Neptune Voila! There you have it! Presto! Pluto! Although theorized to exist much earlier The actual discovery date birthday is March 13, 1930 And since you’ve been discovered You haven’t had a birthday because it takes you 248 years to circle the Sun Lately I’ve been thinking about Micky Mouse and his dog Pluto Your own gravity don’t pull you into a shape defined by hydrostatic equilibrium You don’t even clear your own neighborhood (But you could rake your leaves every once in a while) You could be a quazi-satelite of Charon Your axial tilt is 120* with a silicate core Let’s make Pluto a planet once more Yeah, let’s make Pluto a planet once more Let’s make Pluto a planet once more Let’s make Pluto a planet once more The things you start to think about in the 3 ½ years from Uranus to Neptune
21.	Neptune 02:07	lyrics	buy track
Neptune has a profound impact on the Kuyper Belt Just like Jupiter’s gravity dominates the Asteroids Neptune with your blue hue Your great dark spot merely an anticyclonic storm system Spanning 8,100 miles by 4,100 miles Almost as big as Earth Do you have global warming or something? Like Nero to Seneca I am a student to myself I learn something new every day Sometimes I let old habits get in the way Discovered by Galileo Galilei Named after Neptune, god of the sea Sometimes I go to extremes Sometimes I travel by the light of moonbeams Shining on my sun-burned back Just to get a single sound from multiple tracks Sometimes I promise myself I’ll do something different than the day before you know Every day is the same when you’re on your way to Pluto Roger
22.	Neptune To Pluto Love Song 03:09	lyrics	buy track
I remember my love in the meadows of my mind Memories of her sunlit smile in the sunny summertime Walk down to the boardwalk with her hand in my hand Wade along the shoreline, barefoot in the sand But I’m so far away So far away from her I will return one day for On that I give my word I wish that I could talk to her and touch her in the night Hold her body close to mine, squeeze her oh so tight If I could be there just one hour, I’d do her no wrong My body aches, my mind is weak, but I must be strong Cuz I’m so far away So far away from her I will return one day On that I give my word I can feel my love in the canyons of my soul Echoes bouncing off the walls of my self-control The depth with which her penetrating eyes could see through me Like the beauty of the sun and sky the forests and the sea But I’m so far away So far away from her I will return one day On that I give my word
23.	On My Way To Pluto 00:48	lyrics	buy track
Who knew though? I’d be on my way to Pluto I be my own crew, yo All the way, all the way to Pluto 2.8 billion miles away from Earth into space man, yo 8 ½ years of my life in a tin can, you know Who knew though? I’d be on my way to Pluto On my way to Pluto On my way to Pluto Roger
24.	Head Massage Tornado 02:41	lyrics	buy track
I’ve heard there’s a local drink of choice on Pluto Roger It’s called a head massage tornado Roger Blows your mind like a microwaved potato Made with Red Bull and Plutonian vodka It’s like getting’ hit upside tha head with a block a Concrete Sounds pretty neat Roger That’s the main reason that I’m a goin’ to Pluto Don’t you know I wanna try that drink called a head massage tornado Kazoo music kinda rhymes with Pluto, doesn’t it Roger I brought cassette tapes of Cheech and Chong I snuck aboard my favorite bong, my favorite bong, my favorite bong I get down on my bended knees All I pray for is world peace Roger So getting’ back to this Red Bull and Plutonian vodka drink Just wanna let you know what I really think Everything in the Universe slowly moves toward chaos and disorder She looked at the head massage tornado I just poured her 3.3 billion miles away from Earth into space Man, you know, Neptune was a god but he wasn’t wrong Anyone can be a god, they just gotta hang on 10 ½ years of my life each way, you know Roger On my way to Pluto Roger On my way to Pluto On my way to Pluto Roger
25.	1st Walk On Pluto 01:01	info	buy track
26.	Playing On Pluto 01:02	lyrics	buy track
It’s cold out here, you know, you know 387 degrees below zero on Pluto Pluto Roger Standing on the Peruto Plateau On the sunny side of Pluto I met a Plutonian babe, you know She said I know a place 10 minutes away to go 10 minutes away to go Right here on Pluto Right here on Pluto? And I asked , “Is that at the speed of sound or the speed of lightyears?” She says, “I got baggage.” And I said, “Yeah, but sooner or later those clothes wear out, then you gotta get new clothes.” Right here on Pluto Do you happen to know of a good haberdashery?
27.	My Plutonian Bae 01:06	lyrics	buy track
I met a Plutonian bae, you know Hi ya We danced all night and all day , yo But we couldn’t tell the difference A day on Pluto is 6 ½ days on Earth, you know Drinking Red Bull and Plutonian vodka Mingling with the minstrels Want a shot of tequila? A shot of water would be nice on Pluto Hee hee I don’t believe it when they say That Pluto is the god of the underworld If you jump in a river It just takes you downstream You don’t need sunscreen on your soul I am the captain of my ship Would you like to come be a part of it On Pluto Umm-kay?
28.	Poor Pluto 03:31	lyrics	buy track
Poor Pluto Just half the size of the U.S.A. Doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page That shows up before Pluto TV Go ahead and google it, you’ll see Merely known as a trans-Neptunian object Classified as a dwarf planet, last I checked Bah! That’s balona! It has a a heart-shaped glacier the size of Texas and Oklahoma Pluto, I miss you so You were my favorite planet Where did you go? Oh Pluto, where did you go? Romulus & Remus used to fight each other like Popeye & Bluto Charon is in a binary system with Pluto So maybe they should be planets 9 & 10 At least let’s make Pluto a planet again After all Charon is the one with theolin organic macromolecules Which may be the ingredients for the emergence of life, according to Wikinews Like Caesar said to Bruto Et tu, Pluto? Pluto, I miss you so You were my favorite planet Where did you go? Oh Pluto, where did you go? Pluto, you’re just a warm fuzzy little ball of ice and rock Light itself takes 4 ½ years to travel from Pluto to Earth It appears as if ice crystals form the same way on Pluto as they do on Earth When I was standing on Pluto at 381 degrees below zero It was like I lost my heart and there was no place for the blood to flow But your heart-shaped glacier Vacillating between cellular and non-cellular nitrogen Transcends all of humanity and sends a message of peace on Earth Hey, does anybody know what time it is? My lucky astrology mood watch just stopped Roger
29.	Pluto To The End Of The Universe 01:36	info	buy track
30.	Outside The Universe 00:53	lyrics	buy track
I’m outside the universe I finally broke through And now I’m looking back at you There’s a dot of light in the rearview And that’s you This isn’t a drive-thru “Oops!” The one thing you don’t wanna hear when you’re re-entering the atmosphere I need a drink so strong it could blind an elephant I need a head massage tornado Roger
31.	Mic Drop 00:07		buy track

about

I decided to get away from Earth for a while and take a quick trip to Pluto.

credits

released March 23, 2022

Dave Kleh - All music and vocals except:
Bill Mullins - Lead guitar
Cassandra Machia - Backing vocals on track 19

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about

Dave Kleh Burlington, Vermont

Dave Kleh is a 20th century exile, a singer-songwriter making music, recording music, playing most of the instruments...you get the idea. Real music, real good!. Rock on!

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